Albuquerque living part 2: Road to recovery?

[TAMF]

Al - First, I am so glad that you are camping this weekend. You NEED to do something so your mind can relax. I hope you are having great time.

Secondly, I KNOW EXACTLY WHAT YOU ARE FEELING RIGHT NOW!!!!!! When I went to breakfast with my H last week and he told me that he had actually had the conversation with the OW that it should end, he said that he told her that in the big picture the easiest people to hurt in this situation was him and her. He said that he couldn't give her what she wanted, which was a family. I said that he couldn't anyway, he has been "fixed". He then said that if he had it reversed and at his age (37) they would have a 50% of getting pregnant. I almost died right then. I said, "you looked into this? you actually contimplated having a family with this girl?" he said yes, but that was a long time ago. I kept my mouth shut. Then he kept talking about how us getting back together was the right thing and that it was about the girls. He needed to be with his girls. He didn't want to hurt the OW, but having children with her wouldn't be fair to our girls.

I just kept thinking...what about me?! And I know that he has real feelings for this girl, but children?!!! This really freaked me out.

We got in the car and I said that it was hard to hear him talk about coming back to me for every reason but me. He kind of got mad and said - what do you want from me? I said it was all okay, every girl just wants to hear that the reason is because you love me. Then he said that I had to understand that our girls were his top priority. Which I agreed! but I just didn't want him to come back JUST for the girls.

He said that it wasn't just for the girls...it was for a million different reasons. All of which point to us trying to work out our problems. He said, "I DO love you, we just have a lot to work on"

Remember he also asked at this point if he would be able to still talk to her - to make sure she was ok.

So I really think this is part of the MLC. Remember the OW is the way they self medicate. The idea of not having that support there for them I think terrifies them. It's an emotional crutch.

Also, his reaction to your "bumps in the road" is just like my H too! CLONES that they are! My H said, I NEED you to be strong. I can't be around you when you get emotional, because it makes me feel horrible, so much guilt. He begged me to be strong and as happy as I can be. This positive attitude from me is what is helping to get him through this.

This is going to be a long hard road to go down.