Back from the party. I did good. Not really much fun, but I held it together and managed to eat some cake. H still wanted to share a cupcake like we normally would. H hugged me twice. I took it in stride, and I didn’t knock his teeth in. I never made a move towards a hug either.
SIL announced she is pregnant with her 3rd. I’m happy for them. I am sad for my own broken family too, but happy for her. If life had gone according to plan my H & I would have finished our foster/adopt training now. Guess it is better that he had his break from reality before that, but still causes me a great deal of pain.
On the way home I remember a conversation I had with my SIL when my D and her oldest were still very small. Her oldest is only a few months younger than my girl. She was telling me how when my H & I had announced we were having a baby she had such a hard time. She had just miscarried. Two months later she was announcing her pregnancy too. She said she felt like such a bad person that she couldn’t get past her own pain to be happy for her big brother. I remember telling her that didn’t make her a bad person, just one who was hurting.
It is so odd how things turn out. You never know what will happen next. Like now. What will happen next?
It is not easy to be a superhero, but I am going to have to pull it off.
Starting a new thread today. Nowhere to go but up, up, up. So that is where I will go.
