Here we go again!

[bethann]

Ok, so all my talk about changing myself and so on and here I am again. Yesterday, someone at the arena asked me if my H was sleeping with this cop that he works with and so of course I go straight for the jugular and confront him about this. We are separated and therefore he can do what he wants. He made this perfectly clear to me as we were screaming at each other. He tells me "It's over!!" over and over again. I don't think one of our conversations goes by without him telling me it's over. However, I continue looking for signs and things that he says that might show me it's not really over. Yesterday, he made a snide comment about me seeing someone else (as if, when my entire life is consumed with losing him) I told him I wasn't seeing anyone else, and he returned with, "Well I don't really care." However, why bring it up if you didn't care. Then today, during our screaming match, he said something about Why would I come grovelling back, just so you won't forgive me again? Does he want to come back but is scared of my reaction? Or does he really want out? I need help to get myself together!! I have to stop focusing on him and what he is doing, but it is killing me!