New thread - starting the protection phase!

[flowmom]

H4L, I think it would be helpful for you to use your acting experience to work on this stuff. Could you spend some time with a friend working on rewiring your reactions? Set up a scenario where your friend plays WH and you play yourself, get the friend to trigger you, then feel the trigger flooding your body with adrenaline, but try to redirect yourself by nudging yourself towards feeling good, feeling peace, etc. You could also play WH and see how it's a subconscious game for him -- you could taste the power of how easy it is for him to push your buttons...and seeing it from that side might shift whether you continue to be willing to be in the role of having your buttons pushed.

Actually, you can do all this in your head too. Remember that so many of our reactions come from the pathways being so well worn in our brains. But our amazing brains can change, and change quickly. Some of our emotional reactions are mostly habit, and habits can be changed.

I have managed to change my habitual reactions to some triggers with stbxh and others. I'm not dealing with the degree of stuff that you are, but I know it can be done.

I know how worried you are about S. The best thing you can do for your S is to ground yourself. You are making huge progress and we are cheering you along.