Pie, I do think my H wants to keep me around as a plan B. He seems to have some sort of fantasy that we will always be best friends. He even tells me he wants me to always be in his life and that I am part of his family. Whether I like it or not, he is right. Because we have I child together I am stuck with him. Ugh.
He is a good daddy though. So there is that.
25, you are right that I still have a long way to go. The reason his decision to outright quit surprised me is that H has always planned to keep the store job as a back up plan. This store lets even minimal part time employees have the option to pay into a basic health care plan and offers a discount on some of his favorite hobbies. All he would have to do is work one day every 3 – 4 weeks. Even though the affair was/is only a symptom, I would be lying if I said I wouldn’t be happy to know it was over. I think H is less likely to bring a “new” A around my D than this friend turned OW. In my book that would be a big plus.
My point though was that this time, even though I think the end of the A would be a good thing, I don’t really care. It doesn’t mean anything. Your right, my H is going through with the D anyway. The only concrete effect it has on me is that I will be without health insurance for about a month. That is another point against him in the responsibility category.
Anyway, enough about him. I am continuing to find upsides to my new “single” life. I actually enjoy being alone. Always have. My D & I are able to just have fun when we are together. I get most of the housework done while she is gone now.
I have decided that I have enough time to myself that I will start working on my degree again in January.
I am signing up to volunteer at the agency my H & I had been going to our foster parent training. I won’t be adopting anytime soon, but I can still help a cause I feel passionately about.
Even my H going out and getting his own bank account, though a sign that he is determined to leave permanently, was a relief. Soon, I won’t have to try to budget with his spending habits. Though he has never been as bad as some I have read about, that will be nice to only have to deal with my own spending.
This afternoon I am going to my SIL & niece’s b-day party. I am going to play with my daughter and her cousins. I am going to have fun. I am going to have a piece of cake, and I am going to eat it too.
