pensacola- keep in mind that your wife is sick at this point. She is addicted to this person and she is not thinking clearly and you can not trust her thought process. She will go back to him if she does the TKS. But you cannot make her decisions for her. Even though she is incapable of thinking clearly, you can not be her guide in this. All you can do is make decisions for yourself. What you are willing to live with? Steve is right are the circumstances ideal for her in your marriage if you tell her she can't do the tkd? no. Will she decide to end it with you if you don't allow her to go? Yes probably at least for the time being. So make this about you. Is her going to TKD, the place where she started an affair, an ideal situation for you? Do you want to be in a relationship with someone who continues to have some kind of relationship with her affair partner? If that is ok with you, then let her go to TKD. Becuase she will have a relationship with him. If you do not want to be in a marriage with someone who will do this than end it. You can not make your wife do anything. You can only create the kind of relationship with someone that you want to have by creating the boundaries that you want to see in a relationship. I am in the same boat as you, always worrying - will this decision make him want to leave me? Why should we care? We should start caring about what we want out of a marriage and hold our spouse's to that, and if they can't do it we will find someone who will.
