It sounds as though you and H have recovered from the turbulence caused by MIL's visit.
Yes, it seems that way. He was quite happy to be here for dinner again last week and complimented the dinner I served. I was quite busy as my performance review was the next day and I had to read all the documentation in preparation with the day. I chose to conifide details of the review with him and he seemed interested and supportive.
I had to cancel this week's dinner as I have a work function but suggested an alternative night H which readily accepted.
I'm starting to think about Christmas and not really sure how to handle it. I asked H what his plans were as I was trying to organise things around the kids who would ordinarily spend time with him. He replied that he didn't have plans. So I'm not really sure if he's saying he doesn't have plans himself or plans for his time with the kids. I just left it hanging in the air, not really sure where to go with that. I know I've got lots of time but in between now and Christmas I have my surgery and a week away with D for her swimming so need to have some ideas in my head.
Originally Posted By: goodattitudegirl
Have you tried flirting with H? MHL has been encouraging me to flirt with my XH and XH hasn't shut me down yet. I'm referring to subtle things, like touching his arm when you're talking to him, or brushing hair out of his eyes.............you get the idea. MHL told me to buy a book on flirting. I did, and looking at it gave me inspiration.
Good suggestion GAG. I have done the really subtle arm touching and hair brushing and the flirty asides. He hasn't shut me down in these circumstances and he's laughed and responded to the asides. With the recent MIL debacle and my busy agenda I've probably pulled back a little myself. Maybe, now that the ground is recovered I could wander down that road again.
I think my underlying fear is that all his needs are being met by ow who is a friend with benefits and me, a wife who brings limited pressure but plenty of wifely support. H is private person and that's probably about all he'll need. And now that MIL has endorsed ow he'll be able to bring her along to family events (although not if our kids are present).
I have a job interview tomorrow for a temporary position which will enhance my future employability in a promotional position. It will provide me with six months of alternative experience. I haven't told H yet.
Next weekend H has invited D to stay overnight and watch a movie and then he'll take her driving again. Ow must be resilient to handle all these weekends apart.
