Opt - I agree that, unbelievable as it seems, your H might still be confused - OR - he may just have been waiting until after the holidays to tell you - or - he may just have wrested the Giant Weenie Head title from Mal's H as the most chickenshit avoidant man on the planet (maybe he was too chicken to tell OW he wasn't leaving you???).
Anyway - I think you NEED to use this time that H is gone to find out everything you can about his finances, since who knows what else he has been hiding from you. Call the CPA, snoop in his office if you have access, hire a P.I. to look for hidden bank accounts, etc. You need to do this to protect yourself financially. You have a golden opportunity to do this while he's out of town.
Meanwhile, I wouldn't say a word to H if he calls. This will require tha greatest Act As If job of your life.
I'm assuming from your post that the new house is in HIS name, not his with the OW? Are there any other possible explanations for this house? Could he have been planning to move into it alone, and changed his mind as a result of your awesome DBing? My H rented an apartment long before he told me he was going to - almost like his "safety net" - then I think he had a hard time letting go of it - how could he not move out when he had already rented the apartment?
Or could the house be a rental property? Have you seen it? Is anyone living in it?
Don't ASSume anything, but DO find out. Your H's behavior has been very suspicious all along, and him hiding the CPA stuff from you has me really worried. Also - and this may sound paranoid, but hear me out - please watch out for your personal safety, okay? All these lies, all this sneaky stuff - people who do this are sometimes the kind of people who think a hit man is the answer to their dilemma?
Also - have you checked you bank accounts to make sure he didn't drain them before he left?
okay, enough paranoia - I'm not saying he's anything more than your typical lost WAS - BUT - don't be so naive that you don't protect yourself.
