In the process

[flowmom]

I was thinking also- could this experience be the gift of having "hind sight" to bring to a new marriage at some point?

I think there are things that we'd all do differently. And I agree about second marriages -- some folks are just bad spouses and they're never going to learn. Others LEARN and evolve. Honestly I don't think that I'd feel such a sense of devastation about my M if my children weren't involved. At least the stakes will never be that high again for me since I'm not having more children. I guess you're potentially in a different situation newmama.