How do I deal with now he's overseas?

[ericmsant2]

Piano,

You asked me to stop by and so here I am . You seem to be getting some very good advice and I would suggest that you stay the course i.e. work on you, focus on you, stay in the present, etc.

I do not think I have much more to add but I will try.

First, I noticed that you keep saying that you are the worse DBer ever. FTR, I have to believe that honor belongs to me . Seriously though, IMO, the fact that you continue to focus on what YOU perceive as YOUR shortcomings is something that I think you need to look at. Why do you continue to do this?

I suspect that deep down inside you are still blaming yourself for the demise of the M. And although I am a big believer in owning your piece of it, taking full responsibility for HIS actions is a sign of codependency.

Look, you were pregnant and your H left. In my book that make him a f*cking coward. Sorry to be so blunt. As Robx pointed out, while you were pregnant your emotions and hormones were all over the place. So anything you said or did does not count.

You did not put a gun to your H's head and tell him to leave. He freaked out for reason that honestly only he knows. The fact that he left falls on his shoulders not yours. You tried to DB and although you think you did not do a good job, IMO, you did. Why?

Cause your still here trying to work on you, your still here trying to figure out how to save your M. So my hats off to you. I actually think you are one hell of a dber. Many will fall short in the first few months.

So Piano, how about you drop the "I'm not a good dber" stuff and keep focusing on what you need to focus on for YOU and YOUR daughter. As for you H, the day will come when he may wake up and realize the consequences of his actions. So, when he does, what will he find? Who will Piano be when you does come around?

My prayer is that when he does come around, what he will find is a very strong, smart, loving, sexy women who has a beautiful daughter and has become so confident in her abilities that she just may intimidate him. Why intimidate him?

Cause she finally realized that SHE DECIDES what is best for her and her D.

Keep focused forward. Plan what you need to plan. Let him go. Cut off all contact. IF he wants to see his little girl, well then he can make the arrangements to come visit her.

You and your daughter are worth more than an email!

I know that....question is...do YOU.

God Bless,
Eric