Thanks FMV for pointing that out. When a marriage is in trouble, it usually took a while and issues w/both partners that got us here.
Hope, I'm so sorry it's reached this point for you:(. I guess I'm a hopeless romantic and am sad when it comes to this...
As for me... Reading everything out there, and hope H will actually read 5 Love Languages for me. As for me -- ironically a book called "Why Men Love B!tche$" is actually helping me alot. It's about how a B values her self respect more than a relationship, and doesn't sacrifice everything to be in R. Well... HELLO! That's me exactly, giving up way too much for H, M and yeah for the kids too. Especially the kids... I have no boundaries and they really don't appreciate me because I've been a doormat.
As hard as ending the EA has been... Well, am seeing alot of what Sandi shared to be true. I'm thankful for the parallels I'm seeing between the feelings for EOM and H... Transference is the term my reading has called it. You put all your "ideal man" qualities into this fantasy, and well... That's all it is -- a fantasy. Of course plus the attention and pursuit not coming from H.
After wallowing and crying in bed for a day, I actually got out and walked again today... Trying to cultivate my inner B!tch, Lol.
Right now making a late night run to get some things for myself that H would usually do -- would rather he save his energy to give me affirmations and affection! Yes, the B takes care of her own needs... And takes care of herself.
I was like that before M and kids, but lost myself somewhere along the way. Now, a little chocolate for a dose of PEA to replace what EA was giving me.
FMV, I'm going to move it over to your forum now... I hope Sandi will chime in every now and then, because she really understood and made it clear to me how insidious and damaging EA was.
Wish me luck with my H, and being a B!tch, who states her needs directly. I'm working on it!!!
