feel love thumping at the doors of my heart again

[flowmom]

Nope- you definitely have a girlfriend boyfriend thing going on.

OK, I'll take your word on it

What doubts are creeping in your mind when he is away?

"It is just about the sex for him?"
"Do we have enough in common?"
"Is he making enough of an effort to get to know complicated, multi-layered me?"
"Is this a go-nowhere relationship?" - which I actually think is OK, but I guess part of me likes the idea of "progress"

Maybe it is normal for all of us left behind spouses...and there is nothing wrong with your relationship with him!

Thanks for affirming that.

In fact, you and guitarist are living in the present/near future and this is how it goes until suddenly time flies and it has been a year (or more) and someone asks the other to move in.

Yes, I guess we are living in the present mostly. And in theory I am good with that. I can't IMAGINE a moving in conversation. He is thrilled to be living alone even though it means not being with his children. I can't imagine him choosing to live with me and my children in a million years. And I'm not sure I'd want that either. Sigh. Children are not "baggage", but it's just a different playing field compared to the last time when I was single...it was all just a fun experiment then. Now there's so much at stake, and a sense of having something to lose given all the pitfalls that living together can bring, as lovely as it can be.

Oh, I guess at some point before then, he will tell you he loves you. MAYBE that is what you are needing/seeking as the next step?

I am growing awfully fond of him, and that feels pretty vulnerable. I do have a feeling of loving him...maybe not an "in love head over heels" kind of love, but at least a very deep tenderness for him.

I don't want to be fixated on the "next step" though. I want to be living in the present with him.