When kids are older, If need be, refer the questions to the WAS. But when they're young, you have to keep it simple. And point out the upsides, however fake and wacky they seem. Yes, the "Santa" comes twice and "you have TWO rooms now" and blah blah blah. They can't handle more!
Remind them ALWAYS of how both parents love THEM and are friends with each other and still a mommy and daddy but maybe not a husband and wife. Or that they can't live in the same house but will share d3 b/c you both SO want time with her. Why does your h bother telling you how difficult it is for d3 to be without you at night? What's his goal?
Oh, self pitying and whining b/c he doesn't have "an agenda' to guilt you into returning. He is so clueless as to how that makes YOU feel b/c it is still all about HIM...OMG...even now!
The momentary feelings of guilt he has probably validate to him, how noble HE is....Good grief. Tell him as you have been, "try this or that, (if you have ideas) and then, "I'm sure you'll figure it out DADDY". ( I mean, man up....Geez...)
Keep up the GAL and DBing. IT's for YOU and your D3 now. Swim to the other side & stay focussed on that. Don't look back at the shore (h) or you won't make it to the other side. If HE changes radically AND is willing to do the work, he can swim on to your side and prove it. Til if and when that happens, keep going forward. It's working.
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
