Good point dbmod. I think I am definitely being warm and open during this process. It's just hard because I want to give her the space she needs. Additionally, Ive found that I need the space just as much after she dropped the bomb during our conversation.
Im just letting her dictate the conversation (another 180). If she asks me about something, I respond enthusiastically and definitely LISTEN. I just dont want to push her away by prying into her business or giving her the "so, how are you feeling today?" We talk at length about our son, etc and I try to keep it light and still have a sense of humor. She def seems more interested in the recent changes in me.
At this point, there is no physical contact at all and I am def waiting for her to initiate that (if she chooses). We dont say ILY cause I could tell it was a forced response when I would say it...stopped the first day.
The latest thing she is doing is spending money on clothes and on this recent trip with her girlfriend. She knows it would normally bother me but im doing my best to let it be. We did talk about sep checking accts during our marriage and again during our serious convo a few weeks ago. I think I am going to wait a week (so she doesnt think its just a response to recent activity) and have the conversation with her about sep accounts before the Xmas holidays. Im willing to give her space and some retail therapy if needed. However, I need to protect myself at the same time. Sep accounts will be good for both of us at this point.
I made her coffee the other day and she appreciated it. I told her I was going to make dinner a few times a week b/c we are both eating like crap lately . I want to do it. Nothing fancy or formal. Just gonna make food for everyone so she knows I still care.
I had a wonderful day with my son. We spent the entire day in the city and went to museums, watched ice skaters, etc. He loved it! AND, the W checked in via text and phone twice during the day to see how he was. Most importantly, we had a great day. He loves staying busy with his daddy so it is a good escape from the stress. Going to take the little man to church tomorrow so that will be nice too.
Thanks again for the response. I am incredibly grateful for these boards. The diff perspectives from folks in similar situations is comforting.
