The loss of the ability to have kids really sent me on a downward spiral. I was in shock for about 5 months, then an unbelievable depression set in.
I thought I tried hard. I tried 7 medications until I found one that works without making me sick, good old Prozac! I went to multiple therapists, had EMDR treatment for PTSD, went to a grief circle, had hypnosis and 3 psychiatrists. I even tried the holistic route with hormone treatment. Nothing worked until my husband completely snapped me out of it by telling me he didn't think he could "do this" anymore.
I think for the first time I realized that he could and would leave me. I had to sit around and think about how I could take care of myself. I didn't think I could, but I know I can.
I lived day to day for 4 years. Just getting by. That is 1,460 days of just getting by. No way to live my life. My definition of pleasure became just the absence of pain.
The thought of the toll it took on him makes me sad. Thanks again for the advice Sandi.
