Moving to the next phase of what?

[cagzmom]

trying to battle the thoughts so I went to dictionary.com

yeah that didn't work.
Failure = lack of success.

yeah that really helps.

Today thoughts looming.

What did I do wrong?
How did I not see how unhappy he was - if he was for so long?
Why has he not made any attempts to come back?
Why haven't I truly let go?
Does he EVER miss me?
How can he move on to another - move her and her son in.. never considering us again?

So much loss. So much.

I miss my family.
I try to be honest. Is it HIM I miss or the memory of family. I think it is both.

It has been almost 4 years since I have been physically intimate with anyone. Even that seems like a distant thought.

Dating - no desire - no time.

Still stuck.

Can not freakin' believe this.

I had a "Secret" convo with God the other day. Told him -- as He already knows.. I still long for the miracle but am not bound by it anymore.