I would say my goal right now is for my husband to see me as the dynamic, independent, fun-loving, active woman I used to be. I've been doing pretty good, but it's only been a couple of weeks. I have been pleasant on the phone to him and have not started any arguments. I joined some clubs, have gone to the gym and am actually going to Russia after Christmas with my mom.
I guess what's more important is that he see me as I mentioned above on a day to day basis. Or at least hear about it, as he is not here during the week.
In other words, you want to be who you use to be, right? You are saying that you have changed (maybe not in a positive way) over time.
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My next goal is to have him doubt giving up on me because of what he loved about me in the beginning. (see above). That would be step 2.
Ah, but he already doubts it. Remember he said he wasn't sure that he could love you the way he should in a M? The words are just turned around, but the meaning is the same.
I don't know anyone who doesn't change as they get older, especially if they are M. The realy trick is to change for the better, but sadly, I doubt the majority of people get better than the way they were before M. Well, maybe I should not speak for them......so I'll just say that for "me"......I was always at my very best when H & I were dating, engaged, and right through the wedding cermony. But, I immediately began to change and I couldn't tell that I was, and nobody would tell me. If my H had not been the person he was....I probably would have been dumped! Do you know why I couldn't tell I'd changed? B/c I had my focus on others instead of me. I don't mean having my focus on othersa in a positive way. It was a negative focus.
You can become that girl again, but it's not an easy task. When these old habits take hold....they are tough to break, you can do!
I can almost assure you that once your H begins to see that girl he fell in love with...he will fall in love all over again.
When you wake up feeling in a negative mood, quickly think about "your" goals about yourself instead of thinking about him.
Stay with us and post often.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
The realy trick is to change for the better, but sadly, I doubt the majority of people get better than the way they were before M. Well, maybe I should not speak for them......so I'll just say that for "me"......I was always at my very best when H & I were dating, engaged, and right through the wedding cermony. But, I immediately began to change and I couldn't tell that I was, and nobody would tell me. If my H had not been the person he was....I probably would have been dumped! Do you know why I couldn't tell I'd changed? B/c I had my focus on others instead of me. I don't mean having my focus on othersa in a positive way. It was a negative focus.