Thanks Shiny, I could use the encouragement. Like Opt, I am so tired of fighting this whole thing. I wish I could get to the place she is of peace within herself.
I'll take the advise of spacing between paragraphs. I get typing and go so fast I don't pay attention to how it reads. Sorry.
Yesterday H went hunting and did not get done until dark. He told me he was going to his apt to shower and asked me to come over.
I went over (I really thought about saying no) and we ML-very passionate I might add. That was good, but he is still not as affectionate as I'd like, and keeps some distance between us and frankly, I'm getting tired of it.
I'm the one that initiates our get togethers, and calls him most of the time. He is almost always willing to be with me but I want to BE WANTED. I mean REALLY wanted!
My brother told me that H is never coming back, and that I'll never let go of him. It made me think.
Opt, I'm So glad you have found a peace that you deserve so very much. I'm trying hard to get there. I need to protect myself from being hurt.
You see, even though my H and I are kinda "together" there is still a distance that I don't know where it's coming from. We've been at this for over two yrs. How do we ever know if they'll really snap out of this?? Rachael
