I'm saying that when you a love addict, you may just be recreating your sitch w/ your H and the SSM, by becoming involved in an EA, which flourishes in fantasy and isolation.
Many of the characteristics of the love addict (loe self-esteem, loss of self-care) etc. Have to be understood and dealt within there is any hope to repair the M.
A key rule in the 12-step programs is ABSTINENCE from the addiction... I am just looking for ways to get through this.
