Coming to an end.

[soleil]

Something I did after the divorce.. and continue to remind myself to do. Once the decree was official, there was nothing I could do about it. I had a choice. I could bitch and moan.. OR.. embrace that I got the best deal possible and move forward from that.

Nothing can change the past, but a good attitude helps the most.

Excellent advice and great mindset.

[antlers]

Antlers it's a Ninja 650R and it's a blast to ride. I almost laid it down going through a decreasing radius turn this weekend but she saved me- she's been good to me so far.

How long will you be paying the CS and spousal support? Yes, she may take you back to court or she may not. Unfortunately, this is something most of us will have to live with for a while. It feels like we're paying the price for ever getting married and having better jobs...how stupid but you know what? we built ourselves up to this point and we'll rebuild ourselves again. Besides money is not everything in life. Peace and contentment are worth more than gold- I try to remind myself of this too. Besides, what're the alternatives? stay bitter for the rest of your life? become a drunk bum and get fired from your job? nah! that's not the way to live. That just gives our spouses too much power. Live happy, that's the best revenge in life.

Sounds like a nice ride. I enjoy riding my motorcycles a bunch. It's tempting to exceed the speed limit, by a lot, because these machines are so capable and powerful.

I'll be paying child support for the next 4 years, barring anymore legal moves by her. Spending 5 figures on legal fees, in addition to having to pay her $107,000 straight cash, has destroyed the retirement account that I singlehandedly built up for our future over about 2 decades. It sucks. I'm a nurse for cryin' out loud! That's a ton of money for someone in my income range.

"Living well is the best revenge"...I do believe that.

[antlers]

"People should not be financially rewarded for cheating, lying, destroying a family, and leaving the kids in a bad way...she was. And people should not be punished for being faithful and honest, and trying to save the family...I was."

Agreed, its grossly unjust considering the enormity of the pain and suffering and financial ruin.

Yep, it's flat out wrong.

[antlers]

Something I did after the divorce.. and continue to remind myself to do. Once the decree was official, there was nothing I could do about it. I had a choice. I could bitch and moan.. OR.. embrace that I got the best deal possible and move forward from that.

Nothing can change the past, but a good attitude helps the most.

I don't disagree with anything you say here. Thanks for the reminder...it's good advice. I'm trying to put forth more effort to not think too much about stuff that I have no control over.

[antlers]

Be the dad.
Be the safe place.
Let them know you're not going anywhere. - Gypsy

Just wanted to put this on my thread because it's such good advice. Thanks.

[ImprovedRomeo]

Sounds like a nice ride. I enjoy riding my motorcycles a bunch. It's tempting to exceed the speed limit, by a lot, because these machines are so capable and powerful.

They sure are Ant...I enjoy the helmet time and the blue highways for solitude and self-reflection. It's something people that have never ridden can fully understand.

I'll be paying child support for the next 4 years, barring anymore legal moves by her. Spending 5 figures on legal fees, in addition to having to pay her $107,000 straight cash, has destroyed the retirement account that I singlehandedly built up for our future over about 2 decades. It sucks. I'm a nurse for cryin' out loud! That's a ton of money for someone in my income range.

"Living well is the best revenge"...I do believe that.

Ant, sure that's a lot of money. But you don't have to be rich to be happy, being happy is a state of mind. However, if it's any consolation my financial damage is going to be similar to yours if not more. I used to spend sleepness nights dwelling over the financial impact on my early retirement plans etc but I realized how insignificant money is in the grand scheme of life. Health, family and friends come first, then everything else. Of course, let's be realistic- money does matter in this world, but you'll have enough to take care of yourself and more. You'll be ok. I'll be ok, we'll all be ok. It's my sincerest hope.

As for your exW; it's only the weak that are cruel. Kindness can only be expected from the strong.

Happy Thanksgiving!

[antlers]

It's only the weak that are cruel. Kindness can only be expected from the strong.

I like that. Thanks. I feel like I'm a lot stronger now than I was just 2 short years ago.

I can relate to the way riding your motorcycle makes ya' feel. It makes me feel good too. I love those VTX1800's.

[antlers]

I had to work on Christmas. After I got off, I went to my moms for Christmas dinner. My son who lives with me had spent the night over there, and my oldest daughter was there too. My youngest daughter and her mom were out of town. We all had a great dinner and then went to my house to open presents. It was the first time my oldest daughter had been there in over a year. We all had a special Christmas. My young son wrote me a note himself that said...

"Dad, I have loved spending alll this time with you. Spending time with you is much better for me then being anywhere else. You ard a lot better then you use to be. Your money didn't buy me, you did.

I love you a lot

From: Son"

That's just what he wrote, grammar and all.

He and I are doing pretty good, despite the financial hardship created by this divorce and the rulings. It is what it is.
I hope 2011 is one of my best years, if not 'the' best.

Regards,

antlers

[Gardener]

ant,
I haven't been around much but I just dropped by and read your post. Despite the financial hardship, you

We all had a special Christmas.

"Dad, I have loved spending alll this time with you. Spending time with you is much better for me then being anywhere else. You ard a lot better then you use to be. Your money didn't buy me, you did.
I love you a lot.
From: Son"

are a rich man.

All the best to you in this new, wonderful year.

[antlers]

Thank you Gardener. I appreciate that...and agree. I hope you are faring well.