Pie's Story - he's comfortable again

[pie]

Thanks for your reply Eric, I really appreciate any kind of adice and input right now.....

You are right, that it would be wrong to hurt anyone else right now...never thought of it that way And yes I'm tired of feeling alone...I have so much love to give, and want in return tho...

I'm feeling very confused about my emotions right now.

I can be friendly and civil and coparent well, but I can't be chummy friends ...its too close to how we were, I can't disconnect from him if we chat like we always used to.

I like the simply live your life thing.

The thing with the rejection was that I didnt initiate sex very often, we had sex about once a week, and the most it was ever was about 2 weeks, but I was sick, and S was sick....

I stopped initiating gradually I think when I started to feel taken fro granted and I came 2nd to his work 100% of the time.

He knows this tho....

H is now back to distant mode (I think), I don't know, he spent last night camping and was supposed to fetch S after lunch today, butvhe left there late. So a few hours late...will see just now....

I think what got me all up in a fluster was that we were getting close, he was refering to me as his wife to people, and just generally being like the old H. And 2 days later I find out about the overnight camping with the probable OW (his secretary).

I just felt like all of this was a waste of time. That my patience was for nothing, and that it could go on forever like this, without me even knowing....and I didnt like that. i couldn't do it.