Thank you gutwrenching. I needed to hear that, especially the part about making my life fulfilling. I need to do that for me. It is day 3 on my own, and i am doing ok. Just two break downs today.
I feel your pain, as I am going through much of the same - but my H has been gone since July. I hate to say it, but I still have days where it hurts horribly. Keep your chin up! Some days are better than others!
M 41 H 41 D16 S 15 D 12 D 10 S 9 M 17 yrs OW Jan. 03 - May 04 S Dec. 03 - May 04 R May 04 - Apr 10 OW Apr 10 S Aug.10 ** H wants LS and D **
I am doing better than I thought I would be. He has texted me twice and i kept my responses to two words. i have not texted him at all. i found out more information about the affair on Wednesday, and that has made it a lot easier to do the no contact thing, at least for now. I realize that I have not known who this person was for the last year or my life. And the way he is right now, it would not be healthy to be with him. The moments i get really sad are when i think about my son. That's when it hurts the most.
I am not seperated yet my WW feels we need to so I keep thinking peter pan with Robin Williams. The one happy thought to fly .....my kids. So hang in sadly we are not alone in this. The worst for me is my W will not express her feelings at all.More guarded than ever.
H 37 WW 37 M 15 5 Children Bomb 9-27-10 W EA/Pa she filed 12-18-10
It's a new day. Do something really good for yourself. Self care is very important...you are worth it (and it makes your spouse wonder what you're up to)!
I am trying to. It is hard though, b/c when they leave you they leave you with more responsibilities and less money. It is hard to find time for myself at the moment, and whatever i do has to be free!
That's okay. There are a couple of things still available that doesn't cost money. Are you into outdoor activity? Being with friends, going to the library (if you love to read), even going to the mall where you can walk & look with other people. Check you local newspaper to see what activites are around town. You may be surprised at many things that doesn't have a price tag.....or are inexpensive.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
Thanks sandi, i know that i just need to put myself out there more, push myself to pursue interests and meet new people. I have a hard time doing that. Right now it seems to be a lot easier to sit on the couch and feel sorry for myself, but that won't help anything. I really think that is what he expects me to do. And i need to fill the void of not having him to talk to, he has ow to fill that void. This is something i always have wondered about the affair. My husband is not a huge talker, he opens up to me but not too many other people. That is one thing that is just so out of character with him in this affair. They texted each other 3000 times in a 20 day period. Not to mention at least a thousand emails over the course of the year. They called each other about once a week, and worked together. Why the need for such constant communication?!!!! He has never been this way before, having to be in contact with someone constantly! How could two people have so much to say to eachother. Maybe a former wayward could answer this for me!
First, realize that he is "out of character" for him. What he's doing now is not the man who won your heart.
As for wondering how much he could have to say to OW......one reason could be that he's giving her a picture of the man he wants her to belive his is. Remember that you already know everything about him.
I am M to a non-talker also. It used to worry me and make me angry that my H would not talk to me, but I have learned that I "can" accept him for being that way. I'd hate to think he wanted me to change from my talkative personality to his more non-verbal one.
Sweetheart, I will try to answer whatever question you might want to throw my way, but for the most part....I won't be able to answer most of them.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
Check you local newspaper to see what activites are around town. You may be surprised at many things that doesn't have a price tag.....or are inexpensive.