Little comments here and there might not be 'in his face' enough to really make him 'get' that the situation is serious.
And then just tell him one or two specific, tangible behaviors that would make you feel more loved, for example a hug and kiss when he gets home from work; a 15-min face to face quiet chat in the evenings after the kids go to bed, just to get caught up from the day. And then give it a few weeks to try it out.
I came to expect some resistance, learning that it was not because he didn't love me, just because it was new behavior and he wasn't used to those kinds of intimate connections. It will likely take work from you to initiate whatever changes you'd like day to day.
Oh, and take care to be patient with him as well as yourself. Interestingly, when I started initiating change in our M, I found I had some odd resistances to the changes as well... and, asking for those changes in the M brought it all out front and centre!
Sometimes we are more similar to the person we marry than we expect.
FMV, Thanks for walking and clearing the path and sharing your journey for those of us who haven't yet ventured this far. The statement about how similar we are to the person we married resonates for me. It reminds me that some of my W's struggles are mine, and that my W and I are in a better position to help each other address issues of intimacy, communication, self-expression and related issues, than any replacement person could ever do.
CL
CL 53 W 54 M 20 yrs. 03'-09' Separation + Old Patterns + GAL 10-14' Piecing
"The Master allows things to happen. She shapes events as they come."
