I have been up and down this past week. feeling ill with the flu hasn't helped. He withdrew quite a bit after the talk. And MLC amnesia set in. TWICE Once in regards to toys and stuff coming from their house to mine. It is causing big fights with my girls and so I pack them up and send them back saying I don't want them here. I am trying to declutter as well. Well he asked why they couldn't bring things home. So once again I explained the fights and decluttering and he said just throw it out. I can't. I don't want the girls to see me as the bad one who tosses out the things OW gets them. Ugh. So told him he can do what he wants with them back at his place. I don't want things here. Also one night he was here and the girls and I were chatting about going to the snow for a holiday next year (it is summer here now) a few days later in front of OW he was talking to them about taking them on a holiday to the snow. I didn't say anything to him but it was like WTF? The only good thing was that D13 managed to say mum is taking us remember dad? So either he totally forgot (more than likely) and thought it was a great idea OR he mentioned it as a mistake (thinking he is coming with us) or he is going to undercut me, which is unlikely because he really hasn't been that way inclined since the initial monster disappeared. I mean he recently told OW he wasn't buying gifts for our daughters with her it will be with me and also that for Xmas he will be here. Winter is a long way off so will worry about it a litle closer to time. On Thursda he was here for our normal family tea. He asked for a neck massage he doesn't understand why he is so sore. Well I know, when you internalise stuff it comes out. He has been so ill these last few months and stress tightens his muscles always has and the amount of pain killers he goes through here... I gave it to him took the moment to do reiki as well. At tea he was feeling old because d10 is starting to develop. And we were laughing and joking around and I said to the girls see this is why you're dad is having a MLC. The girls laughed and H gave me a look which made me go uhoh and then his eyes shifted and he laughed and agreed. It wasn't fake but the laugh was self deprecating. He was still good after that. Chatting and anyway he was doing something and the girls were playing with him and I couldn't help it I leaned over and said in a low voice that he really was the best dad in the world. The smile he gave me was worth so much. He said thanks. Now when he was building up to BD with me he was working longer and longer hours (this was before OW even worked there) and when BD happened he stopped working so much, part of his job was to travel to different towns and suburbs but he changed that as well. Now I know he has been working longer hours not always but it has been increasing. Well last night he was talking to me and he told me it looks like he will be upping the other visits as well. Ok. Fine. But I know how tired he was and how frustrated he was with it all and wondering why he would want to go there again. Not my business but still you go,why? Why do that to yourself again. Anyway he kissed me goodbye twice nice kisses not pecks. And chatted to me all the way to his car. A quick touch and go.
DIdn't see him much friday as I went to a party and he picked the girls up from gymnastics. And today I won't see him much as he and OW are at a BBQ with his family. I miss my girls though.
