Well Guitarist and I spent the last three of four nights together (two of which he had to sneak out in the early morning, poor guy). He just wants more and more...and so do I .
Wednesday evening was our first time spending time together fully clothed in a while . We went to see a friend of his play in a jazz club. It was interesting meeting his coworkers, but not much opportunity to chat and gather intel . It meant a lot to Guitarist that I was really engaged in the music and that we could talk about it. But we really are still working on getting to know one another and share non-physical stuff together.
Still tempting to think of it as a "booty call relationship", though there are a couple of things that don't completely fit with that. Last night he asked for a photograph of me. He also said "Happy Anniversary" (three months since our first date) -- then joked about it being cheesy (but he was sincere). There is serious mutual enjoyment of one another, but time will tell if it goes much beyond the physical. He is a very sweet man with a solid, good character.
I'm feeling very lucky to steal these moments of bliss with Guitarist. I think, though, how can marriage compete with this? My time with Guitarist is so uncomplicated. No kids, no shared household responsibilities, no financial stuff, no interdependence. It was pretty great with stbxh when we were in that stage too (though not as great??? hmmmm). Maybe that just means that it's a good time in my life to keep independent.
Life in a rebound relationship is AWESOME.
me: 42 | STBXH: 41 | T: 18 | M: 10 | separation: Jan 3, 2010 | they deserve better: S7 & D4 current thread: http://tinyurl.com/3y8sxcp .: first breathe, then heal, then start LIVING :.
I'm feeling very lucky to steal these moments of bliss with Guitarist. I think, though, how can marriage compete with this? My time with Guitarist is so uncomplicated. No kids, no shared household responsibilities, no financial stuff, no interdependence. It was pretty great with stbxh when we were in that stage too (though not as great??? hmmmm). Maybe that just means that it's a good time in my life to keep independent. Life in a rebound relationship is AWESOME.
FM -
I like your outlook on things. I really do. I remember when I was single and dating, I was always looking for the ONE, you know? I sometimes didn't allow myself to just enjoy the moment and not look too far into the future. It seems that you have discovered that secret.
Now - just enjoy yourself - when you are with him and when you are alone or with your kids. I envy you at this point. I still don't want my M to end, but I do miss that connection and the physical part of the opposite sex.
I think what NM said about "when" she has room in her life for a relationship, i am in that same boat. Don't get me wrong i crave affection, a warm embrace and of course sex, but when my two lil babies are sleeping next to me, my boy farting in the am, daughter kicking us while she moves in the middle of the night, I am not ready.
i do wish i had some time to actually do adult gal things but even if i did plan on going out to a movie, it would have to be during the day and even then i would fall asleep during the movie.
Me 39 H 30 d 18 previous marriage d 2.5 with H s 4.5months with H Seperation Nov09 july i'm dim to dark - set internal deadline
We women totally want to always define the relationship, don't we? It is sooo US!
Just keep being the B.I.T.C.H. that you are.
On the outside looking in, I don't see why you are suspecting the bootycall relationship. I had one of those once. Here is how it worked: he would call me between 12-2 a.m. and ask to come over. We did it, he left. I would hear from him every week or every couple of months. (It was in college--I was dumb and naive!)
Other variations: calls or text to "get together" with little communication in between. Or with a long time in between. No discussion of next week's plans or "let's get together later in the week" (etc.)
So what do you think?
Maybe because the last exclusive relationship you were in was with your stbxh, you might be a little rusty on defining a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship? KWIM? -are you exclusive? -do you communicate frequently? -do you make plans together? -are you meeting each other's friends? (family can take awhile depending on the people) -are you spending time together during the day, too? (seems to be a step)
You see, this is an area I remember well. I was a frequent flier of 3-6 month relationships before meeting exH (with the exception of a 1 year off/on thingy). Of course that was in my 20s with men in 20s-30s. I don't know if our age changes things or not.
me,34 exH,34 S,16 months S:3/31/09-left for OW started DBing 10/09 d final: sometime 10/10 current: http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2022856&page=1 met in 2004
Oh and I know what you mean about Newcomers...I don't know what to say to any of them right now! I don't think they would want to hear from someone who was divorced anyway!
But "Surviving the Big D" seems to be for people in the stages of divorce, not just those who are officially divorced so come on over!
me,34 exH,34 S,16 months S:3/31/09-left for OW started DBing 10/09 d final: sometime 10/10 current: http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2022856&page=1 met in 2004
. 
. We went to see a friend of his play in a jazz club. It was interesting meeting his coworkers, but not much opportunity to chat and gather intel 
. It meant a lot to Guitarist that I was really engaged in the music and that we could talk about it. But we really are still working on getting to know one another and share non-physical stuff together.
