Here we go down, down, down...

[25yearsmlc]

Sorry you are in pain. Your D3 would be crying like this if you were in the military (don't scoff, or laugh. I mean, I'm a veteran & got deployed with a 16 month old and again with 2 kids under the age of 7).

Point is, business trips, illness and life can take moms away from their kids and their kids bond with their dads in a way they would not, COULD NOT have done otherwise. This forces your h to step up to the plate and be the father he might not have been otherwise. And remember all the Dads (& moms) in the military who leave for year long deployments with a few weeks of R & R that somehow manage to stay close to their kids. THEY EXIST...it is possible.
A few weeks of hour long crying jags won't damage her permanently. I don't see a choice for you anyhow, as you aptly point out.

So since you have no choice, let's see the upside, okay? And by the way, other than wondering about HER, and her sadness, make it worth it. Meaning, if she's going to be sad each time, it'd be a lot less tragic if your time were being wisely used while she's adjusting to "daddy only" time. So make good use of your time. For example--"R & R" or your new career plan or class or GAL stuff...use that time to make it count.

When I was sent off, at least I knew my son and h were bonding and my mom helped out (no doubt your h's parents will step in and then see how "great" he is with her...or not). NOT your problem. Not your responsibility to monitor them as long as she's fundamentally safe.

And let him be a different parent than you. No parents are identical. My h was more physical with our son than I was and that was FINE! I had a hard time at first but had to back off and let h figure it out. And he did. And they did.

Good luck, he'll figure it out. And that might make him think more about his choices. But really, don't just focus on what you think you are losing...

You deserve better. Believe it.