I have been at this for close to 15 months now and have never come close to where you are at in the process so I may not be the best person to provide direction/advice. Having said this, I will give you my thoughts. Do with them as you will.
First, you continue to amaze me and please take a step back and accept and acknowledge all of the work that you have done. This stuff is not easy and I can only imagine what it would be like to try and restore trust yet you appear to be very thoughtful in your approach. It shows me how much work you have done on yourself. So whatever happens – YOU SHOULD BE PROUD!
Given where you are with your sitch I almost feel like a worthwhile investment may be to purchase some DB coaching sessions. I think you can purchase 3 phone sessions for a couple of hundred bucks. It may be worth the investment. Another option would be to post over in the “piecing board” and see if you can secure some ideas from some of the vets that have pieced. From what I have been able to read – piecing is harder than dealing with an MLCer in replay so you’ll probably want to center yourself and get yourself emotionally ready for the “real work” ahead of you.
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I feel I need to go back to IC or maybe discuss starting MC with H
As for this ^^^^ I am sure it would not hurt to set up some IC sessions for yourself to help YOU work through some of the issues that you are trying to work through. IMHO, it is normal to have the insecurity issues that you, to your credit are facing head on. So knowing this is normal please cut yourself a little slack.
As for MC sessions, you may want to consider some of the 1 – 3 day intense counseling sessions i.e. retro Ville, new beginnings (which I hear is excellent) etc. However, I would really vet this out with some DB vets to see what they have to say.
Finally, with MLC everything takes time…a long time and you know this so, as much as you probably want to move forward with a certain degree of speed…taking your time is probably your best bet. I will try and reach out to some DB vets off board and see if they can pop over and provide you with some advice.
FWIW, I think you are doing extremely well. Slow….Alb…take it slow…
I wish I could offer more but you’re a smart cookie and I’m positive that at the end of the day you will shine with whatever approach you take.
God Bless, Eric
"The difficulties of Life are intended to make us BETTER,not bitter". "Fear is a prison, where you are the jailer. FREE YOURSELF!" "Life is usually all about how you handle Plan B." - Jack3Beans
