online dating tips #3

[flowmom]

Romeo, be careful, you're steering dangerously close to online dating! She sounds like she has GAL down . Don't base too much on photos. I'm not photogenic and I've been told that I look a lot better in person -- perhaps she's the same?

[flowmom]

A dissenting view from a lot of what I've read, but makes some sense:

Should a Woman Ask a Man Out?
http://www.jackfrombkln.com/should-a-woman-ask-a-man-out/#more-802
[warning: blog has crude title]

[BobbiJo]

IR, his face was not awful, but not great either. And no it shouldn't matter but I think I was more turned off that he thought it necessary to include a closeup of his bicep all by itself. It's one thing if a guy posts a casual picture, in an underarmor sleeveless shirt w/basketball shorts, just hanging out, and you see some muscles. (sigh)


But when I see shirtless pics of a dude standing in front of the bathroom mirror taking a picture of himself, I do not find that appealing...

[newmama]

Thanks for sharing the article, FM--I clicked on the link to "Superwoman" and found the tips for dating (for women) seem to be good for men as well! I especially liked the part about not shopping when you are hungry...don't date when you are hungry! You will get junk food! Man oh man oh man is that soooooo true!

http://www.jackfrombkln.com/5-steps-to-dating-like-a-superwoman/

Oh and as for women asking men out--it says timid men may be thrown off but what I have found is that the shy guys like to be approached. The take charge, outgoing guys like to "drive" and call the shots. At least among the experiences of my girlfriends and I.

And I second that some people look better in person- but generally, if they post several pics then one is bound to show their looks! If one or two pics look pretty good then I go from there (shallow,I know!)

[newmama]

But when I see shirtless pics of a dude standing in front of the bathroom mirror taking a picture of himself, I do not find that appealing...

totally! yukk! vain, self centered, gross!

and no way should someone post a pic of their bi-cep...I can imagine what the conversation would be about every time....HIM! And he would probably spend more time getting ready than you, too!

[newmama]

Ok I found another good article to share!
http://tristancoopersmith.com/category/blog/breaking-up-blog/

It is a "heads up" making good decisions about entering a relationship: Just because you WANT one doesn't mean you are READY for one. And it has several different scenarios!

[kml]

Violin -
Lol - I think I look good when they're wearing their BEER GOGGLES. And it's dark in that club, lol.

(Great memories in that club - back in 1982 I dated this totally hot guitarist in THE big local band of the time. Only time in my life I was ever halfway cool. They played there all the time.)

Ellie

[flowmom]

Great Superwoman article Newmama! I like the Pick Strawberries part:

Pick Strawberries
It’s important to live and love with as little fear as possible. Life is short, and often painful. You can’t predict the future and you can’t change the past. Try not to allow past pain or future uncertainty to keep you from enjoying the present. Ideal circumstances rarely happen to people, but ideal people can happen to circumstances.

Say and do the things that really matter to you today without hesitation, because you never know if you’re going to get another chance. Your life is now. When strawberries present themselves, pick them.

[kml]

Ok guys - a little reality check here.

I just got a message on a dating site from a sad sack of a guy, saying how he has sent out ten emails and not gotten a reply.

Now - first of all, it IS a numbers game, that's not that many emails. BUT - I am ten years younger than him, he's outside my stated age range, he's got a serious chronic medical health problem - and I'm quite youthful in both appearance and activities. Of COURSE he's not getting many replies if I'm an example of who he's writing to! I bet if he wrote to 65 year old women with chronic health problems he'd have a better percentage of replies! Or even just 65 year old women!

So - I'm not saying not to try writing to women who are "out of your league" - it's pretty hard to tell online who is or who isn't but jeez, don't whine about lack of responses if all you're doing is writing to them. (I know, btw, that he has also written to a 49 year old friend of mine! We live in a big city, I'm SURE there are women his age online!)

And yes, I know ten years is not a huge age difference (although my preference is someone nearer my age, because I am looking for the long haul so far as my sex life is concerned). Still, if was a BUFF 65 year old, with a youthful attitude, I might at least consider it. But he's not.

So - if you're not getting replies, think about who you're targeting.

[flowmom]

I hear ya on the "out of league" thing. I always wonder if it's that they don't get that there is a league difference *or* are they naive enough to think that the league difference doesn't matter? Research actually shows that couples do best when they are considered of similar attractiveness (based on strangers' assessments). Keep in mind too that some people are online because they are busy and their lifestyles don't bring them in contact with suitable singles. Others are online because they are, well, losers. It's harsh but true.