What's da haps, man?

[CityGirl]

Um, you ask WHY you H needed to do better?

All this legal BS was not (and is not) necessary. Offering you details of his sex life is not necessary. It's not *that* hard to do better even if you are the "bad guy".

Keeping your mouth shut shouldn't be that hard. For some reason for your H it is. He could "do better" by NOT doing it. It's just basic stuff.

Your H is much like mine... when he does something that reminds him of you he texts. When court/legal stuff comes up he texts. The pattern is obvious.

"Do better" even during bad times isn't *that* hard.

[soleil]

^ I misread what you wrote, CG.

And you're right, it was unnecessary. Now he'd told me that I have taken his desire to live away from him & I'm trying to take everything from him that he misses me and that's love and committment.

Gah.

Supposed to be a nice weather weekend here which makes me happy. Fresh ai rand sun sound awesome. Gonna have to plan an activity.

[BobbiJo]

Well if he is going to text at least he says you are the one for him. I just get texts about how I ruined my ex's life...

I know it's hard...a couple times a week I still get a strong urge to text or email Dan but I resist it, most of the time. I just remind myself how I feel after sending a message (regretful, apprehensive, etc) and try to remember it almost never makes me feel better...

[ImprovedRomeo]

He writes back saying how the only thing he ever wanted was me, that he couldn't ever have me (??), that he asks himself sometimes what is he doing in this world, that I was always and will always be the only one for him.

Since you already started texting I would've fired back 'WTF are you talking about? if I was all you ever wanted you sure have a funny way of showing it. Why'd you sleep with a hooker? then you try to further insult me in court and now you're trying to blow smoke up my @ss with this crazy baboon sh*t! actions H- actions speak louder than words!'

These people are just unbelieveable!

Is there a reason why he said 'he could never have you?' was there something where he felt he didn't have you? sexually, emotionally etc? you don't have to answer...I'm just trying to make sense of why he would say that. Either there's something of substance or he's full of sh!t.

BTW, my song-of-the-day recommendation for you is Alainis Morsette's 'You Oughta Know' it might make you feel better lol

[soleil]

Thanks for making me laugh, IR, cause you definitely did.

then you try to further insult me in court and now you're trying to blow smoke up my @ss with this crazy baboon sh*t!

As for "not having" me. I have no idea waht that means. I made it very clear I never wanted to D so I don't understand that comment. Maybe he means since he already filed the D and then I got a L too? No clue.

Love your playlists. Gonna have to make one for you...It will start with "Life is a highway" LOL.

[v1olin]

Violin, that's geat that you have found that DB tools work on your W. LOL. So what were you exact words to her?

DB tools did not work and they are not working now. She is just trying to keep it all under control and I am not staying in line. She must have thought I was cool with the whole divorce thing, hence the new boyfriend. I was only staying cordial and friendly because I thought we might be able to rebuild something. I am not interested in being her buddy while she is dating her new BF. My phone has been off here in Cleveland for 4 days now! lol

[ImprovedRomeo]

Glad it made you laugh Sol. So as I'd suspected it realy was just BS about him feeling he could never have you- as if you lived on another planet. Clearly he operates on my fav moto "if you can't dazzle them with your brilliance, baffle them with your BS".

Thanks for the song only if I could get it out of my head now! lol

[soleil]

So a crazy weekend...

Stbx and I are texting back and forth. He says he kieeps dreaming about me, that he misses me, invites me over. it ell him I don't wantt o be only his lover. I ask him why are we getting a d if he doesn't want a D, per him, and he says it's because it's too late, we've both done bad things, can't change the past. Ok. Sat we speak and talk some more. Repeat of the previous day. I really hate this. He says his leg is really hurt from sports and he's resting it, hardly goes out, we're D'ing because you're never gonna trust me and I won't trust you since you left, etc.
HG invites me out and I go w/ him. I drank too much. I ended up sdtaying the night since it was better not to drive. We kiss. it doesn't go beyond that. In the a.m. my mom had a medidcal emergency and is taken to hopsital, I go straight from HG's to hospital. She is stable now and wil be in hospital for a few days. That sucked royally and I was crying. I tell stbx of mom's emergency. I don't know why. But I did. He calls and says he;s gonna come over but we're somewhere else. He then tells me he went downtown the night before, ran into some of my girlfriends, asked if I'd gone out. I said Yes. He tells me as far as he can see I didn't sleep at home last night. I didn't say anything. Asks if I'm seeing someone. I tell him I have been out to dinner & hung out w/ someone a handful of times, it's not serious, etc. He goes off. How wrong I am. How he knows I'm having sex with other men, etc. I told him I'm not and he does not believe me. That he thought I'd at least wait, asks if "the guy" is better than him, that I must not really want to be w/ him if I'm doing that. I told him I asked you a thousand times if you wanted to work on our M and you said NO over and over again. He says it's too late now, that he was going to at leaset wait til D is final to see anyone but now he may do what I've been doing, etc. Then a barrage of texts about how wrong I am and how he's eternally greatful for me for showing him how to love and he believes I am the only one for him, ony wants to be married once.

WTF, man. I am seriously feeling like WTF! My sis says I shouldn't have told him about HG. She's right but at least I was honest right? It's better to tell the truth. I am confused. Grr.

Am off to the hospital now. Any and all advice is welcome.

[soleil]

Oh, I meant to write up there that stbx was inviting me over and heavily implying it was for sex, that he wanted to and whatnot. Well I want to too, it's been awhile! But I told him I didn't just want to be his lover. He said "I know." So yeah I stayed home studying instead cause I had an exam early Sat.

What in the heck...

[AtTheEnd?]

Don't react. Keep doing what you have been doing. He is having a knee-jerk reaction. Let him think about this a while. If you jump back now, it won't work. You will be setting yourself up for more pain.