First, remember the part where you have "no contact"? Okay so let's really do that. Yes she'll see you BRIEFLY when she gets the kids but even then you can let your sister walk them to the car if need be. Second, the KIDS will tell her what fun you all had so no need to worry that she won't know how good your new life is. She'll hear through them about your GAL things. Give it 100 days and see what happens and then YES another 100, and so on. But have a goal of true "no contact".
For all the times she does not have the kids, do not assume she's 1) with OW and or 2) having a great time 3) and NOT missing the kids or feeling guilt.
Stop mindreading. Instead, fill YOUR LIFE WITH GOOD STUFF... See, the "index" of your happiness is NOT her level of misery. Stop comparing. Just create your own life. It's the only thing you have control of anyhow. I mean, if she wins the lottery will that make YOUR life bad? See what I'm saying? The two things are totally separate.
As for the L, if the L says you can do better and not risk losing the kids, listen! Otherwise, you've been given a curve ball that you're handling pretty well. Keep going and you'll find yourself in a better spot soon. Thank God there were no fights about the holidays.
And fear not what others think. You have no control over it anyhow, and moreover, as your wife' pathology reveals itself, those friends and family who heard only her side, will start doubting a lot of what she says. Hence the phrase, "time will tell". QUestion is where will YOU be then? Hopefully busy with your new cool life. Enjoy the weekend!
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
