Thanks so much for the replies! I def appreciate your perspective John. I am 31 an the wife is 29. We met in college when we were both around 21.
I am not blind to the possibility of an EA. However, my gut feeling is still that she is just trying to get attention and feel better about herself. Besides the recent change of schedule and her dressing up, there have not been any other indicators. A few weeks ago, I checked her cell records and text messages with nothing found. She was just talking to her parents, etc. I've stopped the snoopping completely and feel much better. I've realized it doesn't matter and it wont ultimately change anything that is going to happen in our relationship. Only I can change myself and I feel great empowerment with that.
She has definitely noticed my 180's and has been trying to push my buttons (most likely to test me) and I have given her NO ammo at all. I am being true to myself for the first time in years. I dont expect anything in return and it really feels good. I feel like I am doing a good job detaching from her.
My son is loving the new me as well. I am much more involved and taking him fun places, just him and I. My W is going to see a high school friend in West VA for the whole weekend. I mentioned that I was taking him to a museum in DC and I could tell she was a bit flustered. She didnt say anything negative about it, I could just see the "What the heck!" look on her face. I am looking forward to a great weekend with my boy and some quality time with him.
This site is very interesting. My educational background is in psychology. I feel Im pretty grounded and in touch with my emotions. I looked many places for marriage guidance until I came here. When I started reading some of the principles talked about here, a huge light went off. I had already been putting many of the same techniques in motion without knowing it. It just validated my new changes and let me know that I am NOT alone.
I have put my own anger/resentment on the back burner and I love the new changes in me. I know they are not fake and the W will see that in time, regardless of if she's stays with me or not. I have gotten to the point where I know that I will have given 100% to save this marriage. If it works, great. If not, I will be stronger than ever at the end and have a wonderful relationship with my son.
Of course, the process is still incredibly hard. I want so much to hug her, tell her im sorry, and ask about everything in her life. Ive been able to resist that, give her alot of space, and just do my own thing. I read these boards and get strength in my 'quiet time.' I thank you all so much for reading my ramblings and taking the time out of your day to respond. I truly appreciate it!
