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I am trying to learn from my mistakes and hang to my strengths but man this bussiness of carving your own path sure is tough!

I think my H may well be right: deep down I think his leaving is the end... so I'd better leave him before he leaves me... talk about self-sabotage!

At least I have recognized the pattern...




My question this morning: How are you working to change the pattern?

Yes, I can see the need to talk, that is one thing CHL and I did do before he moved out. No, he didn't share all of his reasons but I truly belive what he did share he was honest about.

Don't give up Opt. The holidays are stressful at the best of times, at the worst of times they can be major overwhelming.

Do you keep a journal or just your thread? Look at the timeline. Look at how long each of you was sick adding extra stress. Then a visit that was stressful and didn't go great. Then a bomb anniversary and a rotten holiday, another holiday coming up. Family time, well what if the family is dealing with tons of emotional stress? I think all of this could very well lead to a swamped feeling.

Yes, detachment is needed, but detachment with love and understanding.


I suppose this is a controlling post. But I have nothing to gain, I just feel looking at the other side is in your best interest right now.

You talk about the two weeks and what is he going to figure out.

Well, maybe he is READY now to figure it out.

Something Calystra told me when CHL first moved out. She agreed he wasn't working on things but she said when he starts, when they are READY, it goes quickly. Well, maybe he is ready and just needs the time and space without distractions to really get his head together.

Yeah, he has lots of issues yet to work out in his life, conflict avoidance being a biggie. But, that doesn't mean he can't work on this stuff after he has made a firm decision that he wants to be in this marriage and have his family.

{{{{{{{{{Opt}}}}}}}}}}

Pam

"We must be willing to let go of the life we had planned
so as to have the life that is waiting for us"