H's MLC - he is still lost but I found myself

[Mila]

Hi Erik - Thank you. You have a talent to zero on the important stuff

The quote you pulled out...you have no idea...this is one of the biggest realizations after the bomb that this is an issue for me that I need to work on. And I have been...

My name is Mila and I'm a fixer....people pleaser....caretaker....

And I'm going through my 10 step program

[punkin]

Mila,

When you get that 10 step program down, please forward a copy to me. How many meetings before you earn a gold coin?

[LanceSijan]

My name is Mila and I'm a fixer....people pleaser....caretaker....

Don't feel too bad we are all mostly in that boat.

Thats why we are here in the "Fixer Forum"

[ericmsant2]

Mila

Don't feel too bad we are all mostly in that boat.

Ditto this ^^^^

That is really what I belive many of us really should be doing. Change is hard. Change takes time.

You recogonize it which is really the first step, the next one is really trying to change it.

May I suggest the book co-dependant no more. really an excellent read.

FTR and FWIW Mila - I think you are doing exceptional!

God Bless,
Eric

[LanceSijan]

Thanks Eric.

[hope for zen]

I'll add my name to the "fixer list." Not sure how I am going to "fix" that though!

[LanceSijan]

Mila

Don't feel too bad we are all mostly in that boat.

Ditto this ^^^^

That is really what I belive many of us really should be doing. Change is hard. Change takes time.

You recogonize it which is really the first step, the next one is really trying to change it.

Let me also say that sometimes recognizing it is much harder than it looks.

Trying to balance what is best for your children and not fixing something can be juxtaposed.

So sometimes you are making a decision that is like King Solomon.

[Mila]

Thank you punkin, Lance, Eric & Hope

Glad that I'm not the only one with this issue.....wondering is it's some kind of a common trait of us "Standers"...and if it is what does it mean?

[LanceSijan]

Wondering is it's some kind of a common trait of us "Standers"...and if it is what does it mean?

Yes it is.
We are enablers.

[Albuquerque]

wondering is it's some kind of a common trait of us "Standers"...and if it is what does it mean?

It means the only way we can truly make a difference is to STOP trying to fix others and make ourselves the focus. Only then can we truly be whole. And a whole person is WAY more attractive than bits and pieces....