Not sure where to start or end? WAW? #4

[john28]

Right now my W and I are communicating a litle better. The last time that I saw her which was on Wednesday morning when I dropped S4 off I gave her 4 blueberry muffins that I made (she doesn't think I could ever cook) the night before with S4. I just gave them to her and told her that they were whole grain with real blueberries. She kind of laughed a little and said, "Oh, now we've got a little Martha Stuart?"

I talked to her later that day and she said she LOVED the muffins. She asked me how I made them, and jokingly said to bring over some more. That was a nice touch I guess. Her family is in town since I have S4 for thanksgiving this year and I gave up one of my days so she could have him with them. I mentioned something about meeting up for desert one night so I could see him and she seemed OK about it.

Yesterday I mentioned the meetup for desert again and said, "It really isn't that big of a deal at all if it can't happen, but it would be nice. I just wanted to give you as much notice as possible so if it could happen you would have plenty of time to plan while your family was in town." She said she didn't know the plans. Then when we hung up, she didn't say ILY which has happened the last two days.

She called me later that evening before her class to discuss the desert deal and was upset about it given that her family drove in 8 hours away and was only going to be here for 3 days and "you are taking S4 away from them when they have such limited time." I validated and said that she was right, I didn't want to make a big deal of it and that it was fine not to see him. She seemed suprised I didn't argue and told her she was right and quickly lightened her mood. I then told her that I thought that lately I wasn't sure if I wanted to ILY anymore because it put pressure on her and I didn't want that. I wanted everything to be smooth sailing, and all I needed to know was if she wanted to say it anymore. She replied that she has just been annoyed lately and didn't say it and knew that was wrong of her to do... that she did love me and wanted to say it and it was wrong of her to let emotions stop her from saying it.

Then in the most sincere way possible she said, "I love you, John." That was nice of her.

So pleasantries is the first step in all of this for now.