Quote: He used the words 'boxed in' and 'in a box' in at least two separate occassions... I am not sure but I suspect that he feels confined by his choices, not free to do what he wants to...
Remember when I asked you about his tendency for conflict/avoidance? You mentioned his mother and the issues surrounding his earliest and ongoing experience with that topic. I suspect that he has felt "boxed in" much of his life.
Quote: he is selling the office to get away from OW and he may accept a salaried position in town...
His issue with conflict/avoidance (especially with women) is so debilitating for him that he would rather sell the business than confront her?! Ouch! Again, I think he sees himself "boxed in" (in part) because of his lack of learned skills regarding confrontation.
By the way, he can learn them - my H is in that learning process right now.
I know that I would (and have) thought "I should be more important to you than that bi@%*!". And I have known the kind of rage that consumes day and night. I doubted whether I'd ever be able to like my H again. I even spent time deliciously daydreaming about bludgeoning my H to a pulp. (I'm not normally a violant person )
My point here is that at a time when our lives have been completely disrupted, and the intense pain is nearly unceasing for long periods of time, we can and sometimes do, temporarily stop living within our normal scope of behavior and suspend our usual code of ethics.
I might even go so far as to say (thereby agreeing with CHL) that this also applies to the WAS.
You have every right to feel hurt and angry. I don't think it can be altogether avoided.
But let me ask you this - if you weren't so hurt and angry right now, what would you be doing in regard to yourself, your H, your marriage and your future.
) 
