Hi Eric. Wow. You have given me lots to think about...lots of homework to do
I admit that I'm probably not in the perfect place mentally strength-wise.
I am still letting his actions effect me, and I know thats wrong
I wish I had read this an hour ago
I reached my limit. And needed to 'find my slot'
I was not as strong as you in letting him test out other people, while I sit and wait and see and work on me.
I have worked on me, but the part of me that is now bursting to love and be loved is rearing its head...its probably not healthy.
I should probably be ok to not be in a relationship and be by myself, but I feel like I've been like that for 2 years already.
I'm just ready to DO something.
And I did
I sent him an email in response to his email in which he said : "if I want to try again we should talk about it even though I don't know if it will help" and "even though the thought of the future terrifies me, I am open to talk about what starting again means to you"....
So I said :
I'd like to talk about trying/again starting over...slowly...
I have always thought we've had something special, buried underneath all our mistakes. You are still special to me. And I don't want to throw away something that doesnt come by often in a lifetime.
We would both be taking a risk here, but I'd rather risk than regret forever.
Would you like to?
He responded straight away..
Can I think about it, its not a simple yes.
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Ok everyone, you can all shout and scream at me now, but I'm just tired of Dbing, and decided to do what my heart told me to...
Its been a long time since I let me heart take control, so I feel better for it.
Even though i know it could mean the end
I need to let go, and thats what i need for me to let go. Is for him to tell me to. Is that pathetic?
I have learned that i am stronger than i thought. I've learned about burying resentment, I've learned to be understanding. I've come a long way.
But now I'm just rearing to go....whats wrong with me?
