Thank you all for your support and your advice. I wish I had read it last night before I messed up... I will answer to everyone later more specifically...

We did go to the movies, in a rather rocky way. We were getting in the car and he took some papers and put them in the trunk. I asked what they were and he got mad at me, picked them up and showed me. He was mad all the way to the theater...

We watched 'Master and Commander' and he mellowed. We held hands all the way home. Then we went to bed and snuggled in again, very close... Early this morning, I woke up in the middle of a nightmare in which he and OW were walking down the aisle in her son's wedding, then left together for a Caribbean resort laughing at me... I was angry and upset, and hurting and I wanted to lash out (I am not proud of that, BTW) so I got up and threw the picture frame that I gave him yesterday to take to the office in the trash can...

I went back to bed and he snuggled close to me, then ... He got up and made breakfast for both... then changed to go to work...

He saw the frame in the trash and asked if I did not want it. I said, well since you did not want it... He said: 'yes, I want it, I put it on the shelf in our bedroom'. I answered 'You did not want to take it to the office, so I threw it away.' He was very mad, picked the frame up saying emphatically 'no' several times and left it on the bathroom counter... then he left to take our D to school without saying goodbye or anything else...

I came to the BB and read your posts and came to my senses... I called him to apologize and, boy, was he mad. He acused me of being passive aggressive (and it was passive-agressive behavior I guess, where is Shiny when one needs a professional opinion?) and lashed out at me. I agreed I had acted badly, explained that I was hurting and had lashed out at him, which was absolutely wrong, apologized again and tried to validate when he let me chime a word in... He said we'll see each other tonight...

So much for loving detachment... More like self-sabotage... of course if I throw him away, he cannot leave me... it was I who left...

When he left this morning I was within inches of calling it quits. You guys saved me from that. Thank you.

"You don't throw a whole life away just 'cause it's banged up a little" Tom Smith in "Seabiscuit"