I am currently struggling with his continued efforts to make plans with the kids after school
without telling me. I find out from D17 when plans have been made. We shared some texts yesterday that were pretty charged. I tried only to stress that he needs to contact me. Even though I work until 4:30, the kids's after school schedules are my responsibility.
Okay you are struggling because YOU are making the kids after school schedule YOUR responsibility – right?
1) Why can’t the responsibility be shared? 2) Why not set a schedule with him and stick to it? For example “dear batchit crazy H, I have been thinking and I agree that the children NEED their father in their life, so let’s agree on a schedule that works for both of us. I propose, you have responsibility for the kids on X, Y and Z days. Does that work for you?”
The way I see it, the kids are his responsibility too. What I also see (and maybe I am wrong) is that part of your issues is the result of some of that pent up anger.
Is this controlling? IMO, if the kids are not in danger then yes it is. Separate the M relationship from the R your H will have with the kids.
Need some more motivation? Look at the time that you will not have the kids as time for YOU handling. Some time for you to go out and enjoy your life. You may find that the lawn, the dogs and everything else you try to balance become a lot less important to you. Why? Cause you’ll be out living your life.
Quote:
I think as a parent I need to know the plans
As a ”co” parent you will dictate the kids schedule when they are with you. Yes, you should be informed of their schedule for school, etc but really you do not need to know everything they are doing with their dad.
Quote:
Eric, that's first on my list for Tuesday
It’s Thursday – did you open the book yet?
Quote:
I have a lot of work to do before I even know what to put on my list of what I want.
Sorry I’m calling bullchit on this ^^^^
You will have work to do until you drop dead! The work does not change that right now, you should have dreams for your life – can the dreams change? Yes. However, you have some right now – deep inside you are those dreams. Stop looking at your H and start looking inside and focusing ONLY on YOU.
Quote:
I have a lot of work to do. Time to get to it.
ACTIONS speak louder than words for both the MLCer AND the LBSer – stop saying you have a lot of work to do and just do it!
That work should be….
Living – day by day, second by second.
Living for YOU!
God Bless, Eric
"The difficulties of Life are intended to make us BETTER,not bitter". "Fear is a prison, where you are the jailer. FREE YOURSELF!" "Life is usually all about how you handle Plan B." - Jack3Beans
