How do I deal with now he's overseas?

[newmama]

Hi Piano! I am so glad to see that you have an active thread again.

Just again repeating that I think your WH is immature about what a real marriage entails. You can take your sweet time replying to his emails. Also, he is self centered right now and I was ticked off when I read his email outlining the hardships he is enduring with his job...

Pretty much, this is my take on our WHs now that I am divorced:

During their relationship with the OWs, they are not receptive to us. We shouldn't be bending over backwards to try too hard. We don't need to be nasty; we just carry on with our lives, and interact in a distant/businesslike way when we have to communicate with them.

Once they are done with their OW fantasy/journey, we may see them reaching out.

That is why GAL is so important and detaching. (I know you realize this, but it is so obvious to me now)

I think it is normal to berate (sp?) ourselves for our mistakes in the marriage but you know what? They made mistakes, too, and if both people were mature, we would discuss the issues and work on them together, right?

Honestly!

The nerve he has to not see his daughter until she turns 1!!!! This makes me sooo mad!

So update us about your feelings and your GAL progress. It is tough to GAL too much while we have babies, but reflecting on how to improve relationships is part of GAL. Good job doing that! I may need to look into one of the books you are reading