I said to say something like, "I've already apologized for that" if she keeps bringing it up. You're not invalidating her, your are pointing out you already owned it, and you aren't telling her to get over it. Let her figure that out.
and throw a book at her back as she walks away crying, also? oh and swear at her. That always helps.
You can "own up" to your affair a zillion times times but in some way, shape or form the marriage and the people in it are never the same after that. Some people never get over it.
