A woman I've know for 20 years had the listing for my house for the past year. After 12 months with very few showings, steadily declining prices and only one paltry bid, I let the contract expire with no intention of doing anything until the spring. My friend asked me if there was another realtor... Nope.
Then I meet an agent who presence is like going from a CD player to an iTouch. I know my house will be sold.. period... rather than living in a house with a For Sale sign. Once I decided to go back on the market with this innovative woman, I called my friend, the agent who'd had this house for a year.
I wanted to let her know what was going on. She was miffed especially after hearing the price (which is lower than when I just took it off). She felt she should have had the opportunity to sell it at that price.
In my mind, I just wanted it to be business. Everything else was too much emotion. And she had a really tough position with me since we were friends (she'd been friends with the former spouse,too) and I was an emotional weeble.
What surprised.. shocked me was when she came to remove the key box she rang the door, didn't even look at me while handing the key and walked away. No word. Nothing.
I stood there. Watched. Shocked.
With the bomb, divorce and life thereafter I've learned the importance and need for boundaries, listening to my gut. Keeping the Four Agreements as a working model helps immensely.
I tried to do what I felt was right.. telling my friend directly rather than her hearing it through the grapevine or seeing my house as a new listing.
It almost felt like a mini relationship.. that I was the WAS.. that I'd dropped a bomb. I thought I gave it a year.. she had a year. What's she upset about.. it's a job for her... it's my assets.
I had to remind myself that this was not a marriage. But when working with friends things can get smooshie especially if either of us feels like we have to hold back. Now I know why it's not good to mix business with friendship.
Anyway.. the previous me would be falling over myself apologizing profusely. It's unpleasant having someone I care for acting that way toward me. And I'm sure I could have said it better.
I'm upset.. but it's not taking over me.. not causing a seismic energy shift.. just a weird sense of uncomfortable wonder.
Just because someone is upset with me, doesn't mean I collapse into a muddling puddle of emotional stew. (Old me)
Pay attention. Do my best. Never intentionally cause harm.
One foot in front of the other.
Oh yes.. and I have to learn to let go of that sniggly whispering.. that I always screw up, do thing totally completely wrong. I guess it's mine to own.
Don't know if this makes sense... but I just had to put it down someplace.
