2 years later it's still not getting easier

[whitneypinch]

Ok, well here we go again.

So this weekend I have my kids. My XW is going away to NYC. She is coming home on Monday.
I let her know that I will keep the kids until Tuesday morning.
She informed me that she wants them back on Monday night. We had a few email debates over this point and then she suggested that on Monday that I come out to dinner with her and the kids and then hang out with them. Ok.

I then suggested to her that the kids and I could pick her up at the airport on Monday. She loved that idea.

I also mentioned to her about a big event that the kids and I are going to on the 27th and that the kids wanted her to come with us. She said she wanted to came as well but she would have to leave at 7:45 pm to go to a party. (arrrggg)
The event fireworks start at 8:00 and then there is skating afterwards. Those really are the specific events that the kids and I wanted her to come to. I told her that maybe it was better that she did not come as the kids would be disappointed that she had to leave before the fireworks. She said ok, and that she was sorry she could not be there.

Ok, so I know all of you are saying to yourselves "wow, this sounds great so far".

Later this afternoon I sent her a note saying that I appreciated how she handled the situation today. That she was able to defuse a situation and turn it into something nice. This is a 180 for me as I never showed her much appreciation in our marriage.

Ok, to summarize..... The kids and I are picking her up at the airport and hanging out for the evening and she accepted an offer to come out with us another night (I cancelled).

So....here is her response to my email of appreciation:
"Thanks. I'm happy it turned out this way too and that you feel good about it. This is always my goal with us! Everyone benefits".

I know her..... this note basically says "I am glad you feel good, I feel nothing other than it's great that we are all friendly".

You know what, I just don't think I can have interaction with this person and not have expectations and hope. How the hell can you not have expectations when the person is offering to hang out.

Am I just not getting all of this? This is just cruel. Maybe this is the extreme patience I am supposed to have.....I don't know, someone help me out.
I need a big 2x4 to the side of the head.

My XW knows I still love and miss her. She knows I want us to be a family....

Should I be telling her we should not be hanging out at all?
Arrrrrggg, just don't know what to do. I have read so much about being friends with the EX and that sometimes it blossoms into romantic attraction again.
Is this how that plays out or is my XW just cake eating?

Who the "F" picks up their XW at the airport and hangs out doing stuff?