Pie's Story - he's comfortable again

[ericmsant2]

PIE,

I know what I'd want in my next relationship, whether its with H or someone new. But I really still love H, and want to try with him. But I'm getting impatient

Knowing and ACTING are two different things.

Impatient – IMO, the inability to accept a loss of control = impatient. If you agree, then accept that you really only control YOU. That means….

YOUR ACTIONS
YOUR WORDS
YOUR CHOICES
YOUR LIFE
YOUR HEART
YOUR MIND
YOUR SOUL

Notice that H is not listed up there ^^^

But I still felt a connection to him, and wanted to know if he felt the same

What does LOVE mean to YOU?

Can you love HIM even when right now he cannot show you he loves you?

Is love one sided?

Can you love someone yet not be M to them?

Answer these questions for YOURSELF.

But, I have this horrible gut feeling he's still 'testing out' other relationships.

“feelings”…..they are funny. One day you “feel” this way, then one day you “feel” that way.

PIE – feelings change.

And that makes me feel like a fool.

Hmmm…..interesting, this comes across as PRIDE. Which in and of itself is not a bad thing; however, it can come back and bite us in the as* if not “checked”.

Let me ask you a question – My W, the women who I love dearly, who may be f*cking her supervisor right now….does my CHOICE to give her the space she needs to figure her chit out make me a fool? My macho male ego would say YES. My heart and my soul say NO.

Your only a fool if IMO, YOU Live your LIFE worried about what everyone else says and thinks.

And thats one thing I will not tolerate. I have made that very clear

I agree that boundaries are very good. And FTR, I’m not one to suggest intimate relations while OP is involved. I’m not judging just my opinion so I would say stick to your boundaries.

means to me he maybe thinks it ok to do that even while starting a new with me.

And your position on this is…..

There are still lots of red flags with the sexy young blonde blue eyed tattooed secretary

Hey I have a tattoe <insert smile>
Seriously, stop worrying about what he is doing and keep the focus on what you are doing.

Alb said….I wouldn't recommend snooping or anything like that, but you might want to mentally prepare yourself for that possibility because it is very real. Most MLCers get an OP at some point. What you do at that point is your choice, but I would be very on guard if I were you. Hate to sound so negative, but when it looks like a duck and quacks like a duck.....

Ayep –

Question will be PIE, what will you do if you confirm your suspicions? Act out in anger OR keep the focus on you, heal and THEN decide what you want to do.

I just feel like the only way to truly move on and forward and concentrate on me is to not see him anymore

Depends what move on and forward mean to YOU.

PIE, you should ALWAYS concentrate on YOU. Married or NOT. That my friend should be the lesson you take from this. That YOU should always strive to be the best YOU can be. NOT for YOUR H – FOR YOU.

Theres one thing I hate JUST as much as being made a fool, and thats regretting an action that results in such a huge loss that i could have prevented.

Know what I USED to HATE……

NOT HAVING CONTROL OF EVERYTHING IN MY LIFE

Know what I hate now?

ALLOWING OTHER THINGS, PEOPLE, ACTIONS that I HAVE NO CONTROL OVER ME, make me FEEL a certain way that I do not want to feel.

You control YOU PIE

Regret?

Interesting word.

Do you regret what you are doing? If so, then maybe you need to consider why you are doing what you are doing.

DO FOR YOU PIE –

Make this about YOU and trust me….you’ll have no regrets!

God Bless,
Eric