Here we go down, down, down...

[Albuquerque]

First off hugs ((((Zen)))

This is not easy. Never is. But you CANNOT forget the mantra. Believe none of what they say and only 50% of what they do. If you do not want a divorce, do nothing. Protect yourself and D, but do not lift a finger. Let him do the work. My H told me the same thing. I know the pain of hearing that. Some MLCers manage to fast track divorces, but a lot drag their feet to a ridiculous length.

Good job on restraining yourself. Keep topics to D only. Listen to him when he wants to talk. But listen only. Do not offer up information about your day, your feelings, your hopes, your fears etc. He cannot play that role right now. If he asks you questions, answer kindly, but be vague. When I did that with my H, I don't think he even noticed my answers were vague. And I DEFINITELY know that most days, he wouldn't even remember the IMPORTANT things I would tell him.

I know you're strong and can do this. But yes, it sucks. Continue to detach and work on yourself. Concentrate on GAL and a PMA. Don't allow yourself to do the work on the holiday presents and then slap his name on it. If he wants to send "us" gifts then let him dictate when you both will go shopping and where. It was his idea, let him take the lead. But don't TELL him he needs to take the lead. To be safe, plan on getting your own because he might not take the lead and instead think that he can continue to rely on you.

Are you on the alt (FB)?

((Zen))