MLC WIFE THREATENS LEGAL ACTION

[ericmsant2]

Bobby,

First welcome to ANGER!

Second, sorry to tell you that you NOW pushed and you will now find out just how serious your W is.

Third, can you tell me IN YOUR words what VALIDATION means?

Let me show you something…

I again told her that counseling would be a better option if things could be salvaged.

“I again told her” – WOW, that sound very manly! It also sounds very authoritative.

So Bobby you just TOLD HER what YOU wanted! DO you feel better now? I bet you don’t.

Let me tell you what she probably heard – “I don’t care what YOU want – I want what I want” OR “Look what your feeling right now is WRONG – AS YOUR FATHER, we must go to counseling” OR “I da man do what I say and stop your chit” OR

She may have even thought….”I have given him everything he wanted for 30 years and NOW he cannot give me the ONE thing I want”.

Yes, I am doing a little bit of mind reading here BUT do you really understand how fuc*ed up in the head your W is. Do you really understand that she is trying to fulfill something in HER life that she FEELS is missing.

You see Bobby, you still do not understand that this is about HER! In her mind the M is done and over with and your attempts to save them are validation to HER that YOU are not listening to her.

So NOW that you are not listening….she says…

She then said she wants to push through paperwork for a separation agreement which will become final in a year.

You pushed for counseling and she pushed back!

She said if she can not support herself then she will find a man to support her

Did she say that MAN cannot be YOU? I bet not.

I got very angry at this point and told her I took care of her for 30 years and that was a direct insult to me.

So NOW that she is NOT doing what Bobby wants and NOW that she has hurt Bobby’s feelings, you throw in her face the 30 years of chit YOU did for HER. Hey, I have often wanted to remind my wife that no one put a gun to her head to say “I do” at the alter. So I’m gonna turn this around on YOU.

Did YOUR W put a gun to YOUR head to MAKE YOU take care of her for 30 years? I bet not. So dude, as angry as you are (and lord knows I have been there) direct the ANGER at something else NOT your W.

I told her I was having an agreement drawn up and the divorce will be final after September 4, 2011.

WOW – It will final on my birthday!

Bobby – do you want to be divorced?

ANGER can sometimes = manipulation.

IF you do not want to be divorced then your comment about drawing up the paper work is an attempt to “scare” (replace with manipulate) her into coming back.

Me…I’ve been there done that already. So now that your anger has gotten the best of YOU, what are you gonna do.

Option 1 – call back and apologize for your anger and tell her you will not file
Option 2 – move forward with the filing
Option 3 – GO dark and cut off all communication
Option 4 – Roll a “fatty”, take a couple of puffs, have a few drinks and do NOTHING.
Option 5 – some combination of any of the above 4 options

Me – I probably go with # 4 (x – the “fatty” thought I don’t do that).

You - ??

I can not live like this anymore

Can live like how?

Weak?
A coward?
Conflict avoidant?
Passive?
A doormat?
Less of a man?

Bobby – you do NOT have to live or feel like the above AND not file for a D.

Right now, your anger and frustration is writing checks that really you’re a*s does not want to cash.

So my advice to you right now is this…

Sit back and pour yourself a very large and I mean really large glass of SHUT THE F*CK UP (aka STFU).

While you are sitting back ask yourself one question.

What does BOBBY want that BOBBY can CONTROL!

Eric