I have made the decision to take things one day at a time -- I did handwrite a letter to him this morning, scanned it & emailed it to him (he used to tell me how much a handwritten letter was much more personal) basically letting him know that I acknowledge and accept responsibility for my part in our downfall... I didn't expect to hear from him & I haven't -- our last correspondence yesterday was via text & he told me that I had made up his mind for him & he wanted the divorce the sooner the better, said that my way was a lonesome road to nowhere & eff u... Of course the words stung & I lost it all day long after that; h has a tendency to blow up not really meaning the words & then cools down so I don't really take it too personally... Anyway, I am suppose to go pick up my dog tomorrow after work from h house then I plan to drive the 100+ miles back directly afterwards so h doesn't feel like I am smothering him. I don't know what will happen but it is time for me to get out of this rut & poor me attitude and concentrate on bettering myself pysically & mentally -- it is time to get back to the woman that he first met & fell in love with 11 years ago -- I am doing this for me but who knows what will happen with us.
