The next problem I'm anticipating is whether or not to go to the Winter Ball in December. The last time I went to a ball dance with my W, she had a terrible time. She complained she didn't dance enough, and that I was having too good a time without her. It made for a long ride home. Since that time we both have taken dance lessons to broaden our repertoire. I would like to go, but only if we can have a pleasant evening. The time before that, she wanted to leave after staying only an hour. One option would be to drive separately, so that she doesn't feel trapped, and I can stay.
She went to her smoking cessation class, without any reminders from me. She is planning on setting a quit date. She would like to have two acupuncture treatments, but we don't yet have the money. Maybe that's not my problem to solve. I wouldn't give her a hard time if she had the treatments done.
CL
CL 53 W 54 M 20 yrs. 03'-09' Separation + Old Patterns + GAL 10-14' Piecing
"The Master allows things to happen. She shapes events as they come."
I've been to two dance classes and one dance venue without my W this week. She was available to practice with me on Sunday, but hasn't been available since. She has attended two smoking cessation classes and is preparing to quit smoking. She also is adjusting to her new PT job (she described working again as empowering).
My car is making grinding noises when I try to start it. The mechanic seems to think it needs a new starter. I told my W that I need some financial help with this. I'm used to finding a way to pay for it on my own. I'm going to take responsibility to pay down my credit card debt, and use the cards sparingly. I think we need to meet with our financial planner sometime next year for a reality check, and to change some habits. WE may need to change the alocation of who pays towards what bills.
My W was invited for a weekend getaway with a friend of hers. They are going to spend two nights in a lodge in the middle of a state park about two hours from our home. Hopefully, something positive comes from this experience for her.
I'm loosening my grip on dancing expectations, and have no problem going to classes and venues by myself. The instructor lowered our dances for the competiion to two. Two to three practice sessions per week for the next two months seems attainable to me. I will take respnsibilty to remind her and plan for this, until she tell me otherwise. I like the idea of having a deadlline and event to work towards, otherwise our dance connection drifts too far apart, and I don't feel like we're moving forward.
CL
CL 53 W 54 M 20 yrs. 03'-09' Separation + Old Patterns + GAL 10-14' Piecing
"The Master allows things to happen. She shapes events as they come."
I'm sorry, CL, but something that I posted to you this afternoon seems to have disappeared. Not sure what's going on, but whatever it is, it's out of my control. I do wish you well, and will pray for you and your marriage.
Our dance instructor called yesterday, and is in the preliminary stage of entering my W and I in the local dance competition in January. I let my W know, who was concerned about the final bill (about $750). She asked me if this was important to me(it is) and agreed to go forward.
I'm excited about preparing for this competition. The routines are only about a minute long, with more an emphasis on technique versus performance (my strengths). This is a local competition, so most of the local dance community will be there. I want to be a participant in this.
The ongoing dilemma will be to determine how many of these competitions we can afford, and which ones to attend. I would like to attend 2-3 of these per year. The other dilemma will be how to balance my desires with my W's desire to have two vacations per year. The other dilemma will be how to pursue these interests and still manage our finances responsibly.
CL
CL 53 W 54 M 20 yrs. 03'-09' Separation + Old Patterns + GAL 10-14' Piecing
"The Master allows things to happen. She shapes events as they come."
Wow! CL it sounds like you're both making some very positive changes - everything from the finances around your car repairs, to going to dance class and venues by yourself, right to her getting ready to quit smoking. I'm really happy to see things are moving in a positive direction for you.
I cannot complain for not receiving from others, that which I've never asked them for.
When I came home from work yesterday, I found my W asleep. I knew she had a smoking cessation class, but didn't know if she planned on attending or not. I chose not to ask her about it early in the day, not wanting to sound like a parent. I didn't know if I should wake her or not. I didn't hear an alarm go off, so chose to let her sleep. I took the dog for a walk.
When I returned, she was up and upset that I hadn't wakened her. I was disappointed that she had missed the class. I had plans (I sent her an email) to attend a dance class. She said it was too late to get ready for the class. I debated whether I should go or not.
I decided to go. I felt some guilt leaving her home, and didn't enjoy the class as much as I usually do. If I had stayed, it would have been unpleasant for both of us. When I returned, she was in a better mood. I decided that it was her responsibility to prepare herself and make arrangements for the smoking cessation class. It was unfortunate that her alarm didn't go off. She could have left me a note, or a phone call. There's one class left. I'm still proud of her for attending the classes she did.
CL
CL 53 W 54 M 20 yrs. 03'-09' Separation + Old Patterns + GAL 10-14' Piecing
"The Master allows things to happen. She shapes events as they come."
