Moving Forward

[gutwrenching]

Things a little better today. I started down the detaching road last night and results weren't good...so I stopped. Last night remained awkward. This morning though a good conversation. Where we at, why, how to move forward. Right now it is those feelings that are the stumbling block and she feels bad that "she lost her mind" and told me all those things last weekend.

Learned exactly why feelings for him have resurfaced: one was talking about him and second the anger has faded.

I pushed for counselling for her to deal with this because she says she has no one to talk to about it...she was receptive.

I reiterated the boundary of no contact and that one almost shocked her. Amazing. Her response is well what if talking to him is my way of getting it out of my system and moving on...so we had that talk.

I validated that I have read about this kind of stuff and what she is feeling is normal and that I expected it and was here for her. We promised each other to focus just on today, have a good day together and go from there.

So the elephant is still in the room. These feelings and wondering what it would be like with OM. And I couldn't resist, I found a way to throw in there the fact that she would be going to someone she knows won't be faithful to her and that one woman isn't enough for. She admitted she did always worry about that...

I appreciate all the perspectives and thoughts. Far from out of the woods of trouble on this one. I know this is a critical, critical stretch...that if she decides to reach out to the addiction, it is probably over. And I told her that too (without using the word addiction)