The dog was barking and woke me up @ 5am, w is in "her" room putting on makeup and I decide to say good morning. She invites me in and I don't know why, but I start talking about the time we tryed to get away alone for a weekend, 7 yrs ago. We went to my friends place on the Great Lakes. It was a nice weekend except the neighbors,who we knew, kept wanting to do things with us and as usual we don't spend much time alone. We both chuckled about it and agreed that we never spent quality time together. I then blurt out another comment on how she looked beautiful this morning, she replied, I'm not beautiful just old and broken down. I tell her to stop talking like that.
I leave it at that and was going to go back to bed when she asks me to join her for a coffee. I agree, we talk about how we screwed up raising our boys and we can't change the past, but can make the best of the future. Then another thought rolls out of me and I tell her what ever she decides I just want her to be happy. It's time for her to leave for work, and SHE comes to me for a goodbye hug. I hug her and give a quick peck on her cheek and she's off.
The first month after the A news broke I would make her coffee and hug her before she left, me being the pursuer. I got the vibe she would rather be hugging a Leper than me at that time. I rarely or never would have saw her off to work in the past and she probably saw me as a phony. I have stopped all of that for at least a month or more.
One other thing, I promised myself to stop being detective, but its hard. The text/call activity between her and the OM coworker is getting to be less and less as time goes by.
I know I shouldn't read to much into all of this and things could change tonight.
The question I have is should I start to interact with her more or stick with the plan and continue to give her space. Maybe this is one of those baby steps I hear about.
