The difference 3 months has made in my life

[Albuquerque]

Detachment hasn't been easy for me, and right now impossible.

OK TAMF. You know I love ya. And you know you're flat out wrong. It is NOT impossible. Detachment is CRUCIAL. Yeah, it's damn tough when your husband comes around a lot. But be honest with yourself. You crave (yes even initiate) those great R talks because it makes you feel as if your getting forward progress. You have GOT to get a handle on that. The more you do that, the harder it is to detach. So stop for your own mental health's sake. Let him live his life as he wants. If he wants to talk about HIS feelings, let him talk. Let HIM talk. If he isn't asking YOU questions about YOUR feelings, then don't go there. Don't offer up your feelings because you have to open yourself up to do that. And then out comes all the hard emotions that we have to deal with. Allow yourself to be the great listener that he wants, BUT DO NOTHING MORE!!! You CAN detach. Since our situations are similar, you know *I* know how hard it can be when our H don't ever REALLY leave us alone. But you have to do it for yourself and for your Ds.

I know you have a great life and are happy. But you CAN still work on yourself. Just observing, but it seems you have some insecurities with the thought of being alone. In fact, as you yourself stated, the Milwaukee guy made you feel better because "you knew no matter what happened you wouldn't end up alone". Why do you have a fear of being alone? Why do you have a "need" to have someone there for you? Work on those questions. We can have a "desire" to have a special someone to share our life with. But when it becomes a "need" then we are relying on someone else for our happiness and THAT is a big problem.

You are a strong gal TAMF. I know this was just one of your down times and you'll be fine. But keep the focus on yourself and continue your work on yourself. Since you can't join me for my pole dancing classes, you'll have to find your own "thing"!

((TAMF))